Why So Anxious?

‘Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t do something’. I live by these lines. And the reason why I say so, is because with everything becoming so rapidly driven by the impulse of one’s reactions these days, it is virtually impossible to not stumble upon the fear of stepping into the unknown. But strangely, that’s where the fun actually begins. Your actions are most times the direct result of what you eventually end up achieving at the end of it all. But still, in all this chaos, one would wonder as to why does Anxiety happen to come in the way of all this creative and aspiring energy, that you want to translate into something meaningful and breathtaking?! Well, the answer lies in the question itself.

Being creative doesn’t necessarily mean that your mind is at peace with your thoughts. Sometimes or actually most times, it is your troubled past or the pain of a certain kind that compels you to grab that moment, and use it to creatively transform it into something that gives birth to awareness. Be it a rape victim that has the ability to garner all the courage to use her emotional and mental pain to become a filmmaker and create a documentary on the effects and cases of rape, or a distressed employee working for 18 hours at his work place in the most challenging conditions, who decides to take the bold step and initiates his own start up business. The risk involved in doing either, is the same. However, you are more likely to succeed using all that anxiety that you went through whilst questioning yourself a billion times over, as to what your next step should be and how you are meant to react when that tiny little door of success finally opens up in front of your face.

Many a times I have written pieces for online blogs and publications with that sense of anxiety, not because I wasn’t sure if it would be read by many, but if whether I would be able to hold my poise and express myself just as adequately and passionately, as I would like to. There are two instances that distinctively come to mind when wrecking over this mind-consuming concept called Anxiety.

The day I graduated from high school in 2008 and walked down from the stage with the certificate in my hand, instantly the thought trickled my mind as I asked myself that big question- “This feeling is special and precious, but now what do I do next?” It was that dark hidden corner of a feeling that creeped up despite all the joy and relief of completing 12 years of school life and embarking on a new chapter in my life called University. Interestingly and ironically, 4 years later when I walked down the stage of Radio City Hall in Newyork after collecting my Bachelor Of Arts degree with a smile on my face and pride in my eyes, the same question of “What do I do next” popped up once again. Being caught up in the overwhelming moment of graduating from my student life and stepping into the ‘real world’, is a thought that I was experiencing for the first time ever in my life. But just that second after I questioned my next move, an avenue of realization and hope knocked on my door. It was an intuition waiting to tell me that somehow, life has a way of holding your hand and taking you away from all that anxiety that you frequently experience, just so you understand that being anxious is only a state of one’s immediate conscience and nothing else.

Three years later, today, as I sit down to write this piece, it is currently 5am, and all I can hear is the inspiring silence in the air, along with the birds chirping. And at this very moment, I don’t feel the need to ask myself “What next” with anxiety. Because whatever happens next, will happen exactly the way it’s meant to. All I can do, is to embrace that next moment with harmony, sensibility, and constructively employ that anxiety in my favor, to be able to convert it into something creative and successful. I know I will, and so will you.

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